Shame Of Nail Biting

Shame and embarrassment can be powerful catalysts for change. For nail biters, we often develop ways to hide not only our chewed fingernails but our actual nail biting from others, too. Of course, if our shame was that strong and motivating a sentiment, we’d have likely quit our nail-biting already.

I’m generally not ashamed of my bitten nails although I’m a guy so perhaps that’s part of it. Males tend to bite their nails more than females from the age of 10 onwards, too. Other than my my mum when I was younger and my wife and younger daughter currently, I can’t recall anyone making comments about my nails or asking Are you a nail biter upon seeing them. Ever.

Having said that, a few times I have hidden my nails from my wife and daughter when they made a comment about them so I guess at times I can get embarrassed or at least aware of how they look especially when I go too far and bite too much off.

Perfectionism

There are rumors online – with no definitive proof however – that nail biters are more intelligent on average than non-nail biters. Wishful thinking I guess. Recent research does however suggest that nail biters may be motivated by perfectionism. It’s an interesting thought as deliberately picking at and biting your nails doesn’t seem like a very perfectionist thing to do.

But the research shows that people that engage in repetitive behavior like nail biting, skin picking and hair pulling may do this activity in response to boredom, frustration and impatience when they are unable to complete a task or achieve something that they wish to finish.

Reasons For Nail Biting

I personally understand the above-mentioned thought that perfectionism is a legitimate reason why people bite nails but I wouldn’t personally use that word specifically. For me, boredom is certainly a reason for nail biting and sometimes stress and anxiety too.

Taking a step back if I’m being honest, I don’t even need to be bored to bite my nails: I have literally been typing articles on this very End Nail Biting website about stopping nail biting, will stop typing for a second to proofread my work, and will immediately start picking and biting my nails.

I’m not bored per se. I’m busy working away. I might be watching tv. Even playing on my phone. I’ll put my phone down for a second and will start picking away while watching or reading something on my phone. It’s just a thing for me to keep my hands busy. And it’s a very automatic activity for me.

Nail Biting Research

As mentioned earlier, body-focused repetitive behavior disorders (BFRBs) like nail biting or skin picking are activities that humans may partake in to combat stress, anxiety or boredom among other reasons. The question is, why?

In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association changed the classification of activities like nail biting to an example of an obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

But the way I look at it, BRFBs shouldn’t necessarily be equated that way since OCDs like excessive hand washing for example are just that: Obsessive and compulsive. People do it, but they don’t really want to.

Those of us who bite our nails know what we’re doing and we still do it. We know how good it feels when you bite off a big part of our nail. It’s satisfying. Washing your hands over and over again isn’t.

Nail Biting As An Inherited Trait

Instead, modern research suggests that people may have an inherited disposition to get certain BRFBs from their relatives. Personally, I’m unaware that anyone else in my immediate family is a nail biter. My sister isn’t and neither are my parents. My mum’s grandparents certainly weren’t either in my experience. But that’s not to say that you might not experience something different.

The research also shows that a number of other factors like age of onset of nail biting, family situation, and overall environment will determine whether or not you become a nail biter. So perhaps the fact that you were predetermined to be a nail biter overrides the possible shame or embarrassment you might feel over the way your nail biting leaves your fingernails looking.

Conclusion

Shame and embarrassment can be strong reasons to change our habits but nail biting for many of us doesn’t appear to be one of those habits. Research shows that nail biting has less to do with being an OCD and more to do with being a body-focused repetitive behavior disorder. And further research shows that nail biting and other repetitive behaviors may be inherited from our ancestors.

So rather than relying on shame or embarrassment, we may need to focus on finding out what our nail biting triggers are and figuring out how to stop nail biting once and for all instead.