Fun fact: I don’t have a single picture of my bitten nails to put on this website because I never took any and had no idea I was about to quit when I managed to do so. I had bitten my nails for so long, I just assumed it was going to be something I did for life.
They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Quitting nail biting is one of those things.
Nail biting is a habit that people often do whenever they are triggered by a feeling or event that they experience. Nail biting becomes a coping mechanism but unless you revisit your behavior you may continue to bite your nails without a true understanding of why you do it and how you can quit permanently.
Getting Support To Quit Nail Biting
When I first started biting my nails as a kid, I recall my mum trying to help me quit through various means:
- She reminded me every time she saw me biting them and asked me to stop.
- She paid me $10 to quit nail biting which worked for several weeks and then I started biting them again.
- She tried bitter nail polish on me once but we stopped using it after one go. It made my nails shiny and I felt like I was wearing actual nail polish which for a 10 year old boy, wasn’t really something I wanted to do.
Later in life, it was my wife and younger daughter who tried to give me support to quit nail biting. They tried to hold me accountable but I couldn’t even do it myself so how could they possibly do it? They tried to help but at the end of the day a nail biter needs to want to quit and no amount of support from others or punishment or scolding will likely help.
Nail Biting As a Crutch
What I discovered after many years of nail biting is that I didn’t actually understand my own nail biting behavior. I was at the point where I just bit and picked nails because I felt like it. It was as automatic and natural as breathing or drinking water. I just did it.
While I observed that I did bite and pick nails because of stress and anxiety at times, I really bit my nails (mostly) because I felt like it. I really didn’t actually give my nail biting a great deal of thought mainly because I had managed to avoid the long term side effects that often occur such as this and this.
I had braces on my teeth for over four years and my orthodontist never told me about the dangers of biting nails when you have the full track track style braces either.
But as I thought more about my nail biting when starting up the End Nail Biting website, I really discovered that my nail biting was a crutch. While I occasionally used it as a coping mechanism, I just did it for no particular reason.
Why Do You Bite Your Nails?
Seriously think about why you bite your nails. You may have real triggers that set you off. If you have bitten your nails for as long as I did, it might just be a habit that has simply become a regular part of your life, just like it was for me. You may be at the point where you’ll consider and try anything to quit.
What I found out with hindsight is what prevented me from quitting my nail biting is that I never really took the time – until shortly before I quit – to actually understand my behavior and why I did it. And since I’d never asked for help, I was trying to do it myself.
I never took before pictures of my fingernails to show how bitten they were. I do have a tendency to do certain things repeatedly without actually asking does this actually work or can I do it better? And while I did occasionally bite my nails due to certain triggers, that was a small minority of the time.
Where Can You Get Help To Quit Biting Your Nails?
One of the things that I discovered is all the online help forums where nail biters offer up advice to one another to help quit the habit. I had never even thought about doing such a thing. I work online and am on the Internet for at least 10 hours per day but I never really considered looking for help from online methods. Then again, I had largely avoided anti-nailing biting products too because they struck me as being a waste of money for me personally.
What I really discovered on these forums concerned me and made me glad that I’d never checked them out earlier when I was actually trying to quit.
Beware Of Nail Biting Online Forums
I checked out several of the major forums online that happen to have anti nail biting sections after starting up this website. Up until then, it never dawned on me that I should even look for such a place to try to find support. I do tend to be independent when it comes to certain things and quitting something like nail biting certainly falls into that category for me.
Having checked out these forums I noticed several common threads and recurring posts regarding nail biting. Here are five of the popular headlines and topic posts from nail biters who are looking for help that I came across:
I’m Ready To Give Up Quitting
If you’re trying to quit nail biting or any other habit, the last thing I presume one would want to see is others effectively telling you not to bother. I’m ready to give up trying to quit nail biting is something that seems to be a common thread on these forums. It makes me think that this sort of comment certainly could not motivate a person in a positive way to quit nail biting.
It’s like that meme above where a guy is sitting at a table with a “change my mind” sign. If I am trying to quit biting my nails, I am looking for support and positive ideas, not some dude who I don’t know telling me (s)he can’t do it and turning me off the idea of trying to quit, too.
Just because they can’t quit doesn’t mean you can’t! Stay around positive people not ones who reinforce the idea that you can’t quit like them.
Hold Me Accountable
This is an interesting one. People who post pictures of their bitten nails after falling off the wagon and have started to bite their nails after quitting. Then they ask Internet strangers to hold them accountable for biting their nails again.
I’m not exactly sure how this works. Research has shown that punishment and scolding doesn’t help you quit biting your nails. So if your parent or spouse or significant other can’t scold you into quitting how is an Internet stranger who doesn’t know you going to do it? It’s a waste of your time.
Also, it’s another example of you spending time on a person that can’t help you quit biting your nails because they can’t do it either. If you have a friend who is also trying to quit and you can support each other that’s one thing. But having an Internet stranger asking you to hold them accountable for them biting their nails? How is that supposed to help you?
Suggestions And Advice Welcome
The Internet of course is full of unsolicited advice. Some of it is good. A lot of it isn’t. Again, I’m not sure the value of receiving advice from an Internet stranger who also can’t stop biting their nails. I came across a number of people just asking for suggestions and advice on how to quit. Even though the forum is already full of…suggestions and advice to quit.
As we saw above with questions like should I cut my cuticles (no), the last thing you want is getting bad thoughts put in your head regarding things you shouldn’t do and had not even previously considered.
For me, quitting nail biting occurred when I really started to think about putting this website together. I wrote a long article called Personal Nail Biting Case Study where I detailed my efforts to quit nail biting starting as a kid leading right through to me finally quitting at age 50. I didn’t use any paid products and I put my quitting down to me understanding my personal nail biting behavior and finally building up the willpower to quit.
If you’re looking for suggestions and advice to quit nail biting and only remember one thing, remember this: You have to want to quit, on your own.
Here Is A Picture Of The Products I Bought To Quit Biting My Nails
What I’ve noticed is that people like posting pictures of products they bought to help them quit nail biting. People do like to put pics and comments online looking for approval and it seems nail biters are no different.
Often they are nail-related products that aren’t actually anti-nail biting products specifically. Cuticle oil, nail files and things of that nature.
Even if they are an anti-nail biting product like bitter nail polish or nail biting gloves, they are really only ones that mask the problem but don’t get to the underlying root. I discovered personally that getting to the root of the problem and reason(s) for your nail biting is key.
Should I Do Things To My Cuticles?
Should I cut my cuticles? Should I moisturize them? Can I push them back ? Or should I leave them alone? Plenty of nail biters seem to obsess about their cuticles for some reason and I have no idea why.
I’ve never touched my cuticles to any degree as they tend to be retracted at all times so there isn’t much for me to even think about doing. Some nail biters think that their cuticles require work and maintenance. People certainly experience different things with their cuticles but reading these forums can give you dangerous advice and ideas.
Dermatologists agree that:
- You should never cut cuticles. They protect the nail matrix and should not be removed as there is no good reason to do so.
- Using a moisturizer on your cuticles is a good idea especially if you get dry skin.
- Gently pushing your cuticles back if they start to get long isn’t bad as long as you’re gentle. Wet your skin first to soften the cuticles before pushing them back.
Summary
- What works for other people to quit nail biting may not work for you.
- What doesn’t work for other people to quit nail biting may work for you.
- Don’t allow other nail biters on online forums to dissuade you from quitting or take you off track.
- Surround yourself with people that can help you quit not with those that want you to help them quit.
- Check out my about page to learn more about how I started nail biting and see if it makes sense to your personal situation, too.
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