How To Stop Someone From Biting Their Nails

When I was a kid, I had a lisp. It wasn’t excessive like you see in the movies where some child actor who doesn’t have a lisp in real life tries to do one on the big screen and makes it exaggerated like Sylvester the Cat from the cartoons. It was enough that very occasionally I might get a comment from a classmate about it to make fun of me but even that was rare.

In grade 4, my teacher Miss Walker called me to the outside of the classroom one day, referred to my lisp and made a nice comment about the potential that she saw in me and asked if I’d be open to her bringing a speech therapist in to help me work on it. I said yes, I’d be open to that. So every Thursday for the last 45 minutes of class, I’d go to another classroom and sit with the speech therapist to help me get rid of the lisp which I eventually did.

As a long time nail biter I think back to that experience where I had someone take the initiative to help me fix something or at least work on something that I needed help with. In the case of a lisp, it’s something that people notice and often make fun of. So Miss Walker decided to help me out which she did.

It got me to thinking about how her helping me quit lisping – which isn’t a habit but something you’re born with – and how it relates to something like nail biting which is a habit but is also something that we could use help with.

How To Stop Someone From Biting Their Nails

Interesting thought. In my experience, how to stop someone from biting their nails isn’t the correct phrase or approach to use. It sounds like you’re ordering someone to do it. Stop biting your nails! People generally don’t take orders too well unless they’re in the military.

Research has shown that punishing nail biters or trying to shame or embarrass them into quitting doesn’t work especially when it’s a child you’re trying to “help.” Much like telling a child not to fight with their sibling or telling them not to swear, the more you tell them the more likely they are to do it.

So the idea that you’re trying to figure out how to get someone to stop biting their nails or force them to do it is part of the problem in my experience.

Anti-Nail Biting Products

Traditional anti-nail biting strategies were largely marketing ones that put a band aid on the problem. Think about bitter nail polish which has been around for decades. The theory is that if you put a clear bitter tasting (but harmless) substance on your nails, every time you try to bite them you get a bad taste in your mouth (literally) that will dissuade you from doing it again.

As a young kid I remember my mum acknowledging my nail biting problem and suggesting that we try the clear, bitter nail polish on me to see if it would help me quit nail biting.

We tried it once and I actually have a vivid memory of my mum putting it on my fingernails. Probably because as a boy, I thought it kind of odd that I was putting something on my nails even though it went on clear with no color. I also remember a kid at school asking me the next day if I had nail polish on because it left a shine on my nails which I quickly became self conscious of.

So we never used it again. One and done as it turned out.

And in all likelihood it wouldn’t have helped me anyways because I have always been more of a nail picker and not as much a nail biter. I do both but I tend to pick my nails more. So bitter nail polish on nails that you generally aren’t biting? It won’t help.

And if even if you are a nail biter 100% of the time, all you (or your child if they are the nail biter) needs to do is stop buying or using the bitter polish or begin to pick your nails instead of biting them, and you’re back to square one. It won’t help and it doesn’t address the root of the problem.

Nail Picking

Speaking of nail pickers like myself, I was amazed when I set up this website and started doing research to find out that when you search for information on nail picking, it defaults to nail biting almost every time. Nail picking is only referred to in passing in my experience. I have no idea what the prevalence of nail picking is because research only refers to nail biting and they tend not to specifically address nail picking only.

This is not insignificant. When I started thinking about my nail biting habit in great detail recently, I quickly realized that I’m really a nail picker for the most part. Perhaps the triggers are the same but the way we handle the stress, anxiety, boredom or other reason(s) may be the different when we decide to bite and/or pick our nails.

But perhaps the reasons aren’t the same. For me, the thought of putting my dirty fingers in my mouth while away from home (ie. no access to soap and water or sanitizer) isn’t very appealing so I will tend not to bite my nails. But I can pick them at anytime. Perhaps that makes nail picking harder to quit that nail biting but I haven’t come across any research that suggests that or takes it into account when suggesting strategies to quit.

Nail Biting Triggers

Why do you bite or pick your nails? What is the root cause(s) or reason(s) that you bite or pick them? What triggers you or sets you off to do this activity? These are the questions we need to ask ourselves.

While using a bitter nail polish or anti nail biting gloves might help, it basically masks the problem. It’s kind of like buying a bigger bucket to bail out a leaking boat rather than fixing the leak. Fix the problem and you won’t have the problem.

When you stop using the bitter nail polish or take the gloves off, then what? You start biting and picking your nails again.

How To Help Someone Stop Biting Their Nails

In my experience, helping someone stop biting and picking their nails is the better way as opposed to looking at it as something you tell them or force them to do. Just like my lisp.

That goes for your own nail habit, too. While punishing yourself every time you bite or pick your nails might help you personally, you’re also policing yourself. How hard are you really going to be on yourself when push comes to shove?

Perhaps you have someone in your life who reminds you every time you are caught biting or picking your nails. When I was younger, my mum would mention my nail biting when she saw me doing it to get me to stop but it obviously didn’t work as I was still biting my nails earlier this year when I turned 50. More recently, my wife and younger daughter would hear me picking them and tell me to stop. Didn’t help either. I learned to avoid doing it in front of them. Problem solved.

That’s why avoidance doesn’t work. Bitter nail polish. Gloves. People shaming you or even honestly trying to help you quit. In some cases, sure it could work. But if it worked for most of us, we wouldn’t have all these anti nail biting products for sale and we wouldn’t have searched for how to stop someone biting their nails or how do I stop biting my nails, right?

My Strategy

I have compiled some ideas and thoughts regarding quitting nail biting for adults and quitting nail biting for kids and toddlers since the methods may be different depending on the age and severity. The truth for me is that I ended up quitting in a more interesting way.

I just stopped.

I started this website, started researching nail biting and picking, and began to think more specifically about why I do it. What I realized is that while I certainly have at times picked and bit nails during stressful periods or when anxious or even bored, I noticed that while working on this very website – End Nail Biting – I would begin picking my nails while working. I wasn’t bored. I just needed something to do with my hands to keep them busy.

So I stopped. I didn’t exactly stop doing it overnight – it took about 10 days after starting this website and paying close attention to it daily – for me to really catch myself every time I starting picking my nails and immediately stop. But for me, the more I paid attention to my behavior and the more I made note of every time I picked my nails, the more I realized…

I don’t need to do this.

Maybe in the past I bit and picked my nails for some reason(s) but not anymore. I did it because I was too lazy to quit. Too lazy to try to stop. Too lazy to put forth an effort to just say no.

As of writing this, I’m about 6 weeks into no more nail picking and biting after doing it constantly for over 40 years. While I find myself kind of picking at my nails occasionally, I’m not biting them at all and the picking business is really just me doing one nail once or twice without any piece of nail tearing off and then I stop doing it.

I’m actually getting close to having to cut my nails. I’ve already cut them twice just to say I did it and to feel like I’m accomplishing something but I really am close to needing to cut them by necessity. The last time I was in this position? I can’t remember but it might be about 30 years ago, maybe more.

So that’s how I quit. I’m fairly confident that I’ve quit for good, too. One of the things that also helped me quit come to think of it was reading about the negative side effects of nail biting. Check out my article called Dangers of Nail Biting – Scared Straight! to learn more. Some of them are pretty gross and may help you quit.