How To Stop Picking Nails For Good

Are you a nail picker more than a nail biter? Perhaps you do both and alternate between the two. I refer to myself as a nail biter even though I tend to pick my nails more than bite them.

A quick online search shows that biting nails returns 14X as many results as picking nails. People tend to refer to the habit of nail biting as an overarching phrase that describes any activity that involves a deliberate and chronic shortening of fingernails.

Are you more of a nail biter, nail picker or both? Think about your own personal situation and make notes – even document it in writing – as to your nail picking and biting habits. Specifically, ask yourself the following questions and note your behavior to get closer to a solution to stop permanently.

When do you notice yourself picking your nails?

Notice that I didn’t simply say when do you bite your nails because it’s not specific enough, at least in my experience. When I started this website as an attempt to look for solutions to my nail biting, what I didn’t realize until I started really thinking about it is that I am more of a nail picker than nail biter. I then had to figure out when I pick (and bite) my nails and why I do so (more on that below).

I’m 50 years old as of typing this and I have picked (mostly) and bitten (to a lesser extend) my nails since I was a kid. The last time I had to cut my nails with scissors or clippers was maybe 30 years ago. Probably longer actually. I can’t even remember the last time I cut them.

If you can start to notice the specific instances where you are picking your nails, you can get closer to stopping. If it’s a subconscious activity like it is for me, you should really pay attention to your behavior and document in writing when it happens. This will help you either avoid those situations or at a minimum to notice the activity to try and stop it.

Why do you pick your nails?

We can talk about your triggers for nail biting. These are the reasons for doing it, the things that set you off. Listing them in writing may help to not only identify the reason(s) but help you become more aware of them and how to avoid them.

I personally didn’t have to spend a lot of time thinking about my triggers – the reason(s) why I bite my nails. I was already aware that I tend to pick and bite my nails when stressed or bored. But what was a revelation to me was that I pick my nails more than bite them and I often do so just to keep my hands busy.

I’ve mentioned it several times on this website but I quite literally noticed myself picking my nails while writing pages on this website to help me quit nail biting. I’d stop typing for a few seconds to proofread my work and would subconsciously start picking my nails as I’m reading about what I’d just written about nail biting! How ridiculous is that?

I quickly realized that for me, my nail biting to be frank was in large part a laziness on my part and a complete lack of effort to get to the root of the problem. For me, the root of the problem was that I simply never really considered the root of the problem. I thought that nail biting was something that was so ingrained that I really needed to put effort into quitting and just never got around to it. In actuality, beginning the process of quitting nail biting for me was to identify that I really don’t need to pick or bite my nails and every time I catch myself doing it, I have to immediately stop.

For me, the triggers were actually secondary. I pick my nails because I choose to do so. So I have to choose to stop doing it.

As of typing this, I’m 3+ weeks into not picking or biting my nails which is something I haven’t done in decades. Sounds easier said than done, but this attitude worked for me and it may for you, too. If not, keep reading and we’ll look at a few other considerations.

What is your motivation for picking your nails?

I’ve found that for me, why do you pick your nails and what is your motivation for picking your nails are in fact different questions.

The why question relates to actual reasons or triggers for nail picking. Stress. Boredom. Anger. Frustration. Fear. Those are the common reasons that people pick or bite their nails. You might experience a combination of them or perhaps other reasons.

Some people smoke because of the process. People say it’s because they need the nicotine but before they smoked they didn’t need nicotine, right? They only need the nicotine now because they got hooked on it. For many people, going for a smoke is a habit and something to do. The process of walking outside with a friend(s) or alone, taking the cigarettes out, lighting it, smoking, etc. It’s one big process. For me, nail picking is similar. I just do it and it’s part of a process.

The what question is different at least for me. What I discovered is that my nail picking and biting activity had become so ingrained and natural, it was mostly subconscious. It was happening without an actual reason. Sure, I will pick my nails when bored or stressed or frustrated. But I also pick them just to keep my hands busy. I pick them subconsciously for no specific reason.

So while you want to consider your reason(s) for picking your nails, note that you might also be at the point where you just do it like me. In this case, trying your best to avoid triggers like stress, boredom, anger, frustration and fear may not even be possible given your job or lifestyle. But it may also not be beneficial to help you quit picking your nails if it’s part of a process and just something to do, like for me.

When do you not pick your nails?

Identifying when you pick your nails is half of the equation. Figuring out when you don’t pick them is another. Anytime you can identify how to avoid negative behavior is a positive step. That includes nail picking.

I noticed – I had to consciously think about it – that I don’t pick my nails when I’m busy or otherwise occupied. I also noticed that perhaps not surprisingly, I don’t pick my nails when I’m holding my cellphone, am walking, are making food, are wearing gloves, working in the garden, exercising, etc. These are just a few observations of when I don’t (can’t) pick or bite my nails.

Having said that, I have noticed occasions where I’m occupied or busy like watching a movie or a video on my laptop and still found myself picking my nails. There were no noticeable triggers at the time – I wasn’t bored, stressed, etc – but I just found myself picking my nails while otherwise occupied with something else.

So the reality is that I found out that picking my nails was a case of opportunity. If I had the opportunity to do so, I did it. I figured out what those opportunities were and began to stop myself every time I started picking my nails. That means you have to pay attention to when you start picking your nails and as mentioned above, document it in writing to look for trends.

Who can you get help from?

Shame can be a powerful motivator. If you are ashamed of your bitten and picked fingernails, it might over time be enough to help you quit the habit. So can being called out – so to speak – by a loved one every time they catch you picking your nails.

For me, it was my wife and younger daughter. Every time they’d hear me picking my nails – even when I thought I was doing it quietly – they’d call me out. In fairness though, this didn’t help me. I continued to pick my nails and would simply do it when they weren’t around or weren’t within earshot.

But it may help you.

Getting the help of someone close to you – your significant other, child, sibling, co-worker – to tell you every time they see you picking or biting your nails can do two things: Firstly, it’ll help you make you aware that you’re actually doing it. As mentioned above this is an important first step especially if you’re a subconscious, long-term nail picker like me. Secondly, the shame and constant reminding that you’re doing it may help to adjust your behavior.

Again, for me the shaming and reminding part didn’t help. But it could work for you. Certainly part of my problem was that I never acknowledged that I had become a nail picker at various, numerous times during the day, everyday. I had been doing it so long, it had become a subconscious and almost involuntary activity. Having a loved one constantly bringing your nail picking to your attention may help to decrease the activity by making you more aware every time it happens.

What have you already tried to quit picking your nails?

Products to quit the habit are generally marketed as stopping nail biting. Like the bitter clear nail polish you put on your fingernails to give you a gross bitter taste in your mouth every time you bite your nails.

But if you mostly pick your nails like I do, a bitter nail polish won’t help. Neither will a mouth guard or anything similar that involves the mouth since you’re using your fingers and hands for picking your nails. A mouth guard may prevent grinding your teeth, but it won’t stop you picking your nails.

I tried the bitter nail polish once as a kid. In fact, I recently spoke with my mum about my nail picking/biting problem and she brought up the bitter nail polish and remembered that we’d tried it briefly. We couldn’t remember why we didn’t stick with it but in my case it wouldn’t have helped much as I’m a nail picker more than a biter.

That’s the point though. What you’re using to stop picking your nails needs to fit your situation, personality and needs. Bitter nail polish didn’t fit my profile but it might help you, assuming nail biting is your problem. And if nail picking is your problem like mine, you’ll need to consider something else.

Do you pick nails on both hands or just one?

I’m mostly right-handed but I also use my left hand for throwing and precision stuff like using a hammer or screwdriver. My nail picking and biting habit has always been worse on my right hand. While many people pick and bite nails on both hands equally, I have as long as I can remember largely focused on my right hand. It always has the short, bitten nails and my left hand fingernails are never as bad and are always longer than fingernails on my right hand. Always.

If you pick and bite fingernails on both hands equally, that might mean double the work to stop the habit. If you tend to focus on one hand, it might be easier to quit since you’re already halfway there if you want to think positively. How to stop picking nails on both hands completely might be a long term endeavor regardless as it’s an easy habit to start again.

Regardless of what your situation is, while quitting cold turkey and simply stopping nail biting full stop is one way to do it, consider quitting one nail at a time. Slowly stop picking and biting each nail one by one if needed until you’ve weaned yourself off. As I began to stop nail picking a few weeks ago, I really only had to focus on my right hand since that’s the one I tend to work on. If you can stop one hand completely and start to see the benefits of nice long nails, it may be easier to stop picking and biting nails on the other hand too.

Conclusion

It took me awhile to figure out that nail picking and biting is a very personal habit and each person has their own specific reasons for doing it. So the method(s) which may work to quit should also be very specific for you.

Before you can quit a habit you really need to get to the root of the problem and nail picking is no different. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If one method of quitting isn’t helping you, you may need to find another one. Or combine several methods together and try them in conjunction with one another.

I found that in my case, I needed to take a step back and look at the triggers (reasons) for picking my nails. It actually didn’t long to realize that nail picking was largely a subconscious habit. While I did pick my nails when bored or stressed, I mostly picked them for no specific reason. I just did it.

If at the end of each day you’d have asked me specifically to detail the times that I’d picked my nails, I couldn’t have told you definitively. Sometimes I’d look at my bitten nails and think to myself I don’t even remember doing this. It was that subconscious.

That’s why journaling or writing down your nail picking habits might be the first key to success. Making a mental note is fine but we tend to forget details. When you put it in writing, it’s there for you to look at a day, a week and a month later and it becomes easier to look for trends that you can identify to help you quit.