Nail biting typically starts in children no younger than 3 or 4 years old. While many children – particularly girls – kick the habit by the age of 10, many other kids continue the habit or stop for a period of time and then pick it up again later in life. Nail biting can be difficult to quit if it’s done into adulthood as it becomes so natural for many of us that it turns into a subconscious activity. That’s why helping children to end the habit early is key.
Research and experience shows that helping children to stop nail biting and making them aware that it is wrong and should be stopped works better than punishment which can often have the opposite effect and increase nail biting.
Punishment Tends Not To Work
Just like telling children not to say bad words and punishing them when they swear may not work, punishment as a method to combat nail biting doesn’t work either. People in general tend to respond better when they are made aware of the nail biting and are supported to quit the habit in several ways.
Like adults, children may bite their nails for various reasons including stress, anxiety, boredom, frustration or anger. Or it might be just because they’re a child and we tend to do stuff when we’re young without thinking of the consequences. There might not be a specific reason either. That’s why asking your child why they bite their nails might be the best first step.
While we already discussed how adults may stop nail biting and the options are similar for children, some methods and approaches are also different since children are younger and should be spoken with differently than adults.
How To Help A Nail Biting Child
Find Out The Triggers
As with adults, children might have certain triggers like the ones we just mentioned above (stress, anxiety, etc) that set them off and cause them to bite their nails. Ask your child when you see them biting their nails why they’re doing it and see how they respond. In mild cases, just reminding them each time you catch them biting their nails might nip the habit in the bud and cause them to stop before it becomes a bigger problem.
I’ve been biting my nails for as long as I can remember including as a young child and I don’t think anyone has ever asked why I do it. And I’m not sure how I would have responded as a child because I can’t recall ever having a specific and concrete reason for biting them. Had I been forced to think about it for any length of time I may have wondered why I was doing it and made an effort to stop.
Cut Your Child’s Nails Daily
This can be a good strategy to do until they quit because if you’re cutting their nails short they may be dissuaded from biting them. Most children aren’t interested to have their nails or hair cut. It’s a waste of their time and not fun and takes them away from doing something they’d prefer to do like play. So if you spend time every single day cutting their nails, they may be motivated to quit biting their nails in exchange for you not cutting them everyday.
Plus, the shorter you keep their nails the less nails they have to bite. This in and of itself may help to stop them from biting them moving forward.
Use A Code Word
Kids generally don’t like being told no or being lectured to. They conversely generally like playing and having fun so there’s no reason you can’t use these points to help them quit nail biting. Rather than telling them off or embarrassing them for biting their nails, agree with them on a word or phrase or perhaps a hand movement or touch that lets them know they’re biting their nails and need to stop.
This way you aren’t embarrassing them but are reminding them and making them aware of the habit each time they do it. They may get tired of being told off and may quit just so they don’t have to be continually reminded about it.
Offer A Reward
You have to be careful with this one and I’d avoid doing it before trying other strategies as your child might get the idea that when they do something bad or wrong, they’ll get compensated for not doing it. Maybe you pay them $1 for every nail they no longer bite. Or you offer some other reward that will get them to stop biting their nails and not start again. It might be worth a try if other attempts have failed. The key is that they only get the reward for permanently ceasing the nail biting.
On a personal note, my mum paid me $10 as a kid to quit biting my nails and I did stop. For several weeks. I started biting them again and my mum asked for her money back and that was the end of that. It didn’t work for me but it may work for you and your child.
Try Bitter Nail Polish
My mum tried this once when I was about 10 years old and we gave up on it for some reason. I do remember her applying a clear bitter polish to my nails to stop my nail biting and being a boy growing up in the 1980s, I didn’t quite like the idea of using nail polish as it went on kind of shiny and was very noticeable even though it was clear. We didn’t use it again so I can’t personally say it will work for you or not. It might be worth a shot as the taste may dissuade your child from biting their nails again.
Having said that, bitter nail polish is really masking the problem. If you stop using it or run out of it and don’t buy it again, your child might simply start biting their nails again. Nail biting is really a habit that is best solved when you get to the root of the problem and understand why your child is doing it and resolving that.
However, it may help a child quit nail biting because kids do tend to hate the taste of many foods and might just quit the habit to avoid having to experience the bitter nail polish taste again.
Offer A Distraction
Children like to play and can easily be distracted in many cases which can come in handy when you need to keep them busy. Human beings in general deal with situations like boredom and stress in different ways and we process information in different ways, too. Sometimes we may bite our nails because we’re bored or otherwise have nothing to do with our hands. Giving children something to do or play with might just solve the problem and distract them enough that they don’t even think about biting their nails.
We also spoke about how for some adults, their job might prevent them from biting their nails. For children, keeping them busy and occupied may offer them the same opportunity.
Try The Fear Approach
Children believe pretty much anything. They don’t always listen but they will tend to believe what they are told especially if their parents do it in a way that lets them know they’re serious. The fact is that the our fingers have many germs on them and bacteria as well. For children who may not wash their hands as much as they should, it may be even worse. While a child may not fully understand the ramifications of putting their fingers in their mouth and getting a disease or becoming sick, educating them on the issues might not be difficult but could be beneficial.
How much time would it take you to search online for a picture of a nail biting child’s swollen reddened finger with paronychia or other infection and show it to your child? How hard is it to explain in a way that your child can understand about the dirtiness of nail biting and the possible sicknesses they may give themselves as a result? If you frame it in a way that makes them see the dangers of nail biting with regards to their overall health and potential damage to their teeth and mouth, it may be enough to scare them straight, so to speak.
Ask For Outside Help
Children may not listen to their parents or people who they are very familiar or overly comfortable with but they will tend to pay attention when an outsider tells them off. I remember being in a grocery store with my mum when I was about 8 years old in the frozen food section and I put my hand on the freezer grate where air was coming out of from the fan inside the freezer. I tried to put my finger in the grate for some reason but couldn’t. As I was doing this, a store worker came over and told me I shouldn’t put my finger in the grate because there was a little man in there who would bite it off. I recall not being sure if she was telling the truth or not but decided to take her advice and not do this again. I still remember this conversation to this day and it makes me laugh. Mind you at the time, I kind of believed it because I didn’t know the woman and wasn’t familiar with her.
Think of someone in your child’s life they respect or take seriously and ask them for help. A teacher comes to mind. Teachers tend to be authoritative and the average child will listen to them and what they say. While you telling your child not to bite their nails might not work, a teacher or other non-relative doing it might yield better results.
Nail Biting Prevalence In Children
Just in case you think you’re alone in dealing with a nail biting child, you aren’t. It is estimated that nail biting is very common among children. While research shows that most children tend not to bite their nails before the age of three or four years old, there is little research on the percentage of children who quit and then start biting their nails again. This research suggests that nail biting among 7 – 10 year old children is between 20% and 33%. For adolescents, the rate goes up to 45%. Having said that, the older we get the less prevalent nail biting becomes and many nail biters have quit by the time they are 30 years of age.
The good news is that many children – particularly girls – quit nail biting on their own. For those who continue to bite their nails and have difficulty stopping, several or more strategies like the ones mentioned above might need to be incorporated together to help them quit. Having said that, studies show that around 22% of adult men bite their nails indicating that a good effort to quit is essential at a young age.
Conclusion
The strategies and approach to help children quit nail biting are somewhat different from those used by adults. For starters, a child will rely on their parent(s) to help whereas an adult might be on their own or have to go for professional help to quit.
A child is still learning and may need a slightly different approach that reflects their young age. The good news is that the earlier you can get a child to stop biting their nails the less chance it becomes an ingrained habit that they subconsciously do and the less chance it does longer term damage to their mouth and teeth.
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