Nail picking is very different from nail biting even if you only consider the actual process and ways to stop it. First off if you only pick your nails, using bitter nail polish and things of that nature won’t help you quit.
Most anti-nail biting products are just that: Anti nail biting products. They won’t do anything for those of us who predominantly or only pick our nails.
And most information online focuses on stopping nail biting, not nail picking. Onychotillomania is the name given to specifically refer to nail picking so it is medically distinguished from nail biting.
What can nail pickers do?
Here are 6 questions to stop nail picking.
Why do you pick your nails?
Perhaps it’s a trigger that sets you off similar to the ones that nail biters often cite, a reason(s) that causes you to pick your nails. Over the years I certainly noticed many triggers at various times being a problem for me: stress, anxiety and boredom were the common ones.
By the time I finally quit nail picking however, I realized that my nail picking habit was really just that: A habit. It came as natural to me as blinking and I didn’t even I know was doing it many times.
Tip: Figure out specifically why you pick your nails and look beyond the usual stress, anxiety, boredom reasons. It might be some or all of them or it could be something else. If you have certain triggers, you’re going to have to figure out how to deal with them and if possible reduce or eliminate them.
If boredom is the trigger, keeping your hands otherwise busy and your mind away from your nails is a good start. Even though I was a long term (42+ years) nail picker and biter, I was amazed at how quickly I was able to quit the habit once I really paid attention to my nail activity and put my mind to quitting.
Where do you pick your nails?
Picking your nails isn’t exactly the same as biting them in terms of where you do it because picking them can be so much more discrete. Pay attention to where you pick your nails in terms of if you only do it alone or if you also do it in front of others.
If you’re like I was, you learn over time to figure out how to do it without others noticing especially if your have friends or family who tell you off when they catch you doing it.
Also, if you’re concerned about COVID or putting another disease in your mouth, picking your nails solves that problem as you don’t have to use your teeth in any way.
Tip: Pay attention to where you pick your nails. If you find that when you’re busy or other preoccupied that you forget to pick your nails or just don’t think about it, your immediate answer might be to keep yourself and your hands occupied to resist the urge to pick. Over time, your new habit will be to not even think about picking or biting your nails. You may not believe this is possible but it certainly worked for me even after actively and regularly picking and biting my nails for over four decades straight.
How often do you pick your nails?
Is your nail picking something that occurs every so often when you’re triggered or is it a regular and ongoing problem, as it was for me?
If it’s a once and awhile thing, you need to pay attention to your activity and what sets you off to do it. Can you avoid the reason(s) that you start picking (ie. stress, anxiety) or can you manage it and at the same time, stop using nail picking as the answer?
If you pick and bite nails regularly like I did, your task might be a harder because the habit is probably much more ingrained. Quitting nail picking and biting does take willpower. It’s that simple.
Again, if you can identify your exact nail picking behavior it can help you become more aware of how to stop doing it. Even if you’re a long time nail picker (mostly) and nail biter (less so) like I was, I was really unaware of my nail behavior until I really started paying attention to it.
Tip: If you have certain triggers that set you off as mentioned above, you’re going to need to figure out how to reduce these triggers if not outright eliminate them. But if stress is a trigger, are you really under stress every time you pick your nails? It’s likely you have other reasons for nail picking. For me, I finally discovered that I was at a point in my life where nail picking and biting was a habit and not a real problem or due to any real outside reason. I did it because I felt like it. So I stopped. It might not be that easy for you to quit, but it also doesn’t have to be that hard either.
Do you remember exactly when you picked your nails?
Do you pick your nails so often that at the end of the day, you can’t specifically recall doing it? Often I’d look at my nails and could see they were shorter than hours earlier but I honestly couldn’t even remember picking (or biting) them that day even though I clearly had.
Tip: Write down when you catch yourself picking or biting your nails if you have to. Some people put a little felt pen marking on their nail just above the nail bed after they catch themselves doing it just to nip it in the bud so to speak. Every time they look at the markings on their fingers, they learn more about when and how frequently their pick/bite and that can help to quit.
Perhaps journalling your activity will draw more attention to it and help you quit. If you keep a journal on your phone or in a book and write down the time and reason you bit or picked your nails, it could help you learn more about why it’s happening which can improve the chance you quit.
At a minimum it should help to help you learn more about your behavior and get it out in the open.
Do you pick your nails so much that they hurt?
Some nail pickers and biters are so extreme that their fingers bleed and the nails are picked and bit so short that their fingertips hurt. If you’re in this position you should speak with your doctor to get referred to someone who can help.
Nail biting and picking is generally referred to as a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) but when it gets this extreme, you should get some help to stop. You’re probably beyond the bitter nail polish and nail biting gloves stage to get your habit under control.
There might be an underlying reason(s) that is beyond the help of just reading some articles, watching some videos or buying a product to help you quit.
Tip: If you’re biting or picking nails so short that they hurt and bleed, you should see your doctor for a professional opinion and help. They should get involved to figure out how you can stop because you’re increasing the chance of permanent damage to your nails and fingers and potentially introducing disease into your body.
Do you bite your nails, too?
If you’re like I was, you’re a combo nail picker and biter. I was probably 70% nail picker and 30% nail biter if I had to guess.
Can you determine why you end up doing one more than the other, if you do both? For me, the picking was quicker and easier to get away with than biting especially when I had family members getting on my case… For me, it was my younger daughter and wife and when I was younger my mum who would hear or see me biting nails and tell me to stop.
But with nail picking I could be a bit more discrete and sneaky and try to get away with it as long as I didn’t pick them too loudly. I could hide my hands underneath the table or somewhere else and pick away relatively unnoticed.
Tip: Determine if you’re a nail picker and/or biter and if both, how frequently you do each. If you can understand your overall nail picking/biting habit you might be able to eliminate one first and then the other.
And if you bite or pick one hand more than the other – for me it was my right hand nails that were always shorter – you might focus on quitting on the hand whose nails you pick and bite less frequently and once that’s under control, quit the other hand!
In my case, I stopped the nail biting almost right away once COVID hit and once I’d read many research reports about the impact it has on teeth. Quitting the nail picking part came next and followed quite quickly and within weeks I had stopped both hands completely.
Summary
In my personal experience, I can’t stress enough the importance of figuring out the specifics of your habit: Why? Where? When? How often?
Also, ensure you actually know your specifics regarding nail picking vs nail biting. I did both but over time became really more of a nail picker than biter especially after I became aware of the dangers to my teeth and body.
While anti nail biting products might help, the reality is that you do need self control and an effort to quit and stay quit is going to be key.
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